Before we announce this new holiday a brief explaination maybe in order:
Prior to the the above holiday the worlds population was a productive 6.5 billion.
Due to the success of the holiday and the worlds embracing of it the population has slumped to numbers not seen for 150 years....2.4 billion.
We at the
SOCIETY FOR THE PRESERVATION OF SELF-RIGHTEOUS BASTARDS
had no idea there were so many gun owners who could shoot so accurately.
However this population slump seems to be contained within a few areas.....these are list below:
Southern States of America.......the population seems to have dived to record lows with a 85% decrease in population.
Northern American States..... decresed by 75% the majority of the decrease is in the 18- 30 year age bracket of African American men and White Wanna Bes.
Middle East...... has dropped by 70% it must be noted here the there was an incorrect interpretation of the rules in these countries. Several mininority groups thought it was INTERNATIONAL SHOOT ANYONE IN THE HEAD DAY, however this error has been fixed for next year.
Rowanda, Uganda, Ethiopia and several African Coutries: has had its population drop by a massive 69%. A small adjustment needed to be made in these countries. This was because the majority of gun owner was solely government officials and law inforcement. The general populations were mostly to poor to own a gun and those that did had no ammunition so it has become
NATIONAL HIT YOURSELF OR YOUR NEIGHBOUR IN THE HEAD WITH A MACHETI(BIG KNIFE) DAY.
I am sure you can see the problem. The drop in population has been huge and has caused overwhelming problems for most of the countries involved.
So to counter act this, A new holiday has been decided this is:
This day will take 4 months before INTERNATIONAL SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE HEAD DAY. A registration process will take place 24 hours before the event to ensure full participation. All persons must be over the age of 21 years. You must shag the person standing next to you. All person who become pregnant will receive a 16 years full benefits to support their new family and allow the adult to stay and be a full time parent thus guaranteeing the health safety and moral stabilty of the next generation.